I was visiting my friend E, and we headed out to the grocery store with her five-week-old baby, realizing with a touch of sadness that he might never know a world with twinkies, all of that overprocessed flour and crisco and filling that made your teeth hurt because it was so very sweet. We also realized that neither of us had eaten a twinkie in about ten years, and we didn't even like them all that much. But still! It was the principle that mattered.
At the first grocery store, the Hostess section was cleared out. Only a few bags of sad, powdered sugar donuts were left. The store had set up a Little Debbie display close to the Hostess display. Gloating, much? They did have Little Debbie "cloud cakes," which looked like twinkies, but obviously weren't QUITE the same.
No problem! There's another grocery store on our way home. We'll stop there and grab some twinkies. We walked toward the hostess section, and again, it looked like the hostess section was empty. There was a grocery store employee putting bread onto one of the shelves, so I asked him "Do you have any twinkies?"
He shook his head. "Are you looking to sell them?"
"No, we want to eat them!"
He didn't really seem to understand what I meant by that. "I would sell them. They are going for $25,000 on ebay."
"So you don't have any."
He looked confused. "You want to sell them."
Maybe he was trying a jedi mind trick on us? It wasn't working, and they didn't have twinkies. So we went home and ate regular food. Goodbye, Hostess. (if you want a more touching goodbye article, check out this NYT piece.)