October 18, 2013

to airports, with love

oh, TSA.
to the women who fly while wearing 4 inch heels: How do you do it? Do you never have to run for a tight connection? Do your feet never swell while you're 30,000 feet in the air? How do you muffle the cries of your knees and pinkie toes after a hike from your gate to the baggage claim at Chicago O'Hare?

to the people crowding around the gate when the gate agent is still on "if you need any special assistance getting on board. . . ": Here is a fun surprise. We are all going to get on that plane. That plane will not leave until we are all on it. Unless Dr. Horrible shows up and freeze-rays you in place, you cannot miss this flight. The gate agent will let you on the flight. You have more chance of missing your connection because you accidentally trampled a small child in your rush for the general boarding lane than because OH MY GOSH three people boarded in zone 3 before you! (Also, why is it that on US Airways flights, 92% of the passengers are in zone 3?)

to enterprise rent-a-car: No matter how many times you try to scare tactic me, I know that I don't need additional coverage on my car. Is there a way to permanently note this in my account?

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